FETCH A GAOLER I'm late in every morning And have to make it up with Doing lots of overtime And when I finally start It's getting on for half past nine The boss is going crazy He thinks I'm growing lazy It's time I led a different life so

Fetch a gaoler I'm a failure And I'm always slow off the mark Fetch a gaoler I'm a failure And ought to be shot in the dark Not a tailor nor a sailor Not even a blackmailer So fetch a gaoler or I'll fail ya If you don't give me a head start

At my brother's wedding I thought I'd be the one Giving the bride away But he wouldn't let me stay Not even for half a day He thinks I am no good And maybe that I would Destroy what was his perfect day so Fetch a gaoler I'm a failure ...